Times are changing here on the farm.

Not all that long ago we never owned a lock,  nothing was ever protected that way. We just didn’t feel the need. Vehicle keys were left in the ignitions, and doors were always free to be opened by whomever came to visit. Shop doors and fuel storage were never secured. Nothing was battened down and no one ever gave it a second thought. I wish I could say all that is still the way it is today. But even in Mayberry things changed. And so they have in our small neck of the woods as well.

Influenced by the outside world, the time has come for us to install a home alarm system.

The system itself arrived in one small box in the mail, and with the help of the on-call security support, Twyla and I had the system up and running in a single afternoon. As a final step of the installation process, I screwed the notification of the alarm system to the gate post so all guests could easily see what we had installed. That was several weeks back.

We are pleased with the alarm system we chose. It has worked very well during our tests, both planned and not. Most tests tend to fall into the unplanned category.  Take for example an unexpected visit one day from Margret, our neighbour to the west.

Of course, we needed to test the alarm to make sure all was in working order.

For no particular reason, one morning before I walked out to the barn to work, I activated the alarm for the house. I didn’t lock the door. The barn is 50 yards due west of the house, straight out the front door.

While working in the barn the dogs let out a few barks. It’s funny how you come to understand the different tones your dog uses when it barks. This tone was very familiar. It simply said “Hey, it’s just our neighbours coming up the driveway, no worries”. Recognizing this bark I didn’t leave the barn but I did look through the doors up at the house for confirmation.

When I glanced up, I saw Margret pulling up the driveway.

With her truck shifted to park and engine shut off, Margret and her two young daughters climbed out of the truck. At this point in my morning I had long forgotten about the alarm that was set earlier in the day. I half worked, and half watched as they walked from the truck to the front door. It wasn’t until Margret opened the front door and the alarm system squawked to her it was active that I remembered. Oh Crap! Margret had opened our door countless times, but never to this unwelcome announcement. This was a new sound for her and it sparked a reaction I hadn’t expected. Startled, she spun on her heels and ran out the front door as quickly as she could ‘uching’ her girls as she retreated, “Run! Run! GO!”, she ordered!

Laughing I dropped what I was doing and started to trot to the house. Running is not easy to do when you’re belly laughing.

Unfortunately when you trigger the alarm you have a short 45 seconds to enter the code and shut it down.

If you fail, a live operator comes on to let you know that “The authorities have been dispatched.” Margret didn’t know the code to get them to ‘stand down’. That would be foolish. And as slow as I was, I failed to make it in time.

I reached the door as the operator asked Margret to “Identify herself”. The operator had no way of knowing Margret had high-tailed it back to her truck and was safe inside with her two accomplices.  Once in the house and speaking with the operator, I fished around until I had our security code in my fist. I verbally relayed the code to the operator and the alarm system buzzers fell silent. With tension dialed down, things began to return to normal.

Despite the unpleasant surprise, Margret was impressed with our security system.

So much so, that when she returned home she convinced Seamus they ought to install one as well. The system they chose was slightly different from ours. They did not do a self-install as we had.  Instead an alarm ‘specialist’ arrived with all the necessary equipment to set it up for them. The installation went flawlessly, for the most part. During the final step of the install the specialist was on his cell phone asking for one last piece of information to finish the job.

“All set” he declared, “I just need the werbol password.”

“I’m sorry”, came back the operator, “I am hearing most of what you’re asking, I just can’t make out that last part.”

“The password” the installer repeated, “I need the werbol password.”

“Again”, returned the operator, “I’m not quite making out that last little bit, can you repeat?”

This exchange went back and forth a number of times on speaker phone. The installer was becoming increasingly frustrated with each new try. As a last-ditch attempt to get the information he needed, he handed his phone to Margret.

Shocked at being thrust the phone, Margret exchanged quizzical glances with Seamus.  He shrugged his shoulders. She shrugged. Then, moving the phone a little closer she simply stated, “You know, the WERBOL password.”

Awkward silence followed, a few surprised glances were tossed back and forth, perhaps a little laughter by the operator?  It was hard to tell.

“Verbal” stepped in Seamus, “They need the VERBAL password”.

Now, in Margret’s defense, there are a lot of acronyms and odd sounding nomenclature in her work and IT in general.

Security system jargon would definitely fall within that realm. However, another thing to consider, is that this installer had a very thick accent, and spoke English as a second language. So when Margret had heard “werbol”, most everyone else in earshot heard “verbal”.  As you can imagine this mispronunciation of the word, which matched his mispronunciation perfectly, surprised him and everyone else.

With his phone returned and the “werbol” password now entered, and the security system installation was complete.  It wasn’t long and all the necessary paperwork was sufficiently shuffled. Soon the installer was all packed and on his way down the road to his next ‘venue’.

Back at Margret’s? Oh yes, a bit of laughter ensued, for sure.

And as I mentioned, “The times they are a changin’.”